What Is And What Never Should Be
by Sweetewok
Summary: After Juliette learns the truth about Shawn's secret they must find a way to work together when a serial killer once again threatens the streets of Santa Barbara. Starts at Deez Nups. Please read/review!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Shawn

I watched my dad walk away from the bar and shook my head a little. I couldn't remember the last time we'd had a heart to heart like that, or if we'd really had one so meaningful in all of my thirty-six years. 'Too soon' I thought, trying to put the Family Ties moment behind me. I ordered two wines from the bar and took a sip from one, knowing in an instant that I wasn't going to finish. "No" I said to no one in particular, shaking my head at the sharp taste of the wine. I put mine down, and quickly made my way back to the table to a waiting Juliette. I handed her the other glass and couldn't help but notice how beautiful she looked in my jacket, her fork full of cake. God I loved this women. "Where's yours?" Juliette asked innocently, taking the glass and noticing my now empty hands. "I took a shot of absinth at the bar" I answered smoothly, not sure why I felt the need to lie about not liking the wine. A familiar song began in the background, and I welcomed the chance to end the conversation. "Do you want to Wang Chung with me my dear?" I asked holding out my hand, but instead of getting up, she pulled back, a look of concern on her face. "Shawn I need to ask you something," Juliette said, nervously setting the wine glass on the table. "I don't know if it is me just over thinking things but I have to know the truth. Yesterday you were at the hotel, you saw the halls, and know the layout." She said stated, anxiously entangling her fingers together. "Guilty as charged," I quipped trying to lighten the suddenly serious tone of her voice. "Well you said you had this spectacular vision where Marlow was covered in garbage, but couldn't you have just remembered that there was a trash shoot on every floor, and just taken a guess?" I stood there a few feet away, watching as Juliette started to slowly put the pieces together. Not seeing a way out, I reluctantly answered "I guess, but that would've been a pretty wild guess, don't you think?" She answered quickly, "Absolutely! And I probably wouldn't have given it any more thought, but then I found this." Juliette slowly put her hand in the pocket of the jacket I had given her earlier. In that moment I knew what she was going to show me, the recite for the Michael Damion concert that I had shoved in my pocket earlier for safe keeping. "And I am sure there is an explanation, but you know me, I won't be able to stop thinking about it, and I certainly won't be able to Wang Chung until we get this cleared up," she said gaining confidence in her words. "Lassiter said that you had a vision, but you had this recite. So you knew that Herb would be there, right?" Juliette asked with her face full of hurt. For a moment I just stood there, hoping the right words would come to me, but when they didn't I let myself get distracted by the party that was going on around us. Marlow and Lassie were dancing lovingly, Chief Vicke was laughing, and Gus was on the balcony talking to Rachel, looking happier than I had seen him in years. And then suddenly the party melted away and my thoughts went to Juliette, and all of the great moments we'd shared over the last seven years. The first time we met at that small diner, during her first assignment with the SBPD. The first time we had almost kissed, our faces so close I could smell the spearmint on her breath. The first time she told me she was ready to date me after the Yin investigation. And of course there was the time we did finally kiss almost two years later. "Maybe the best things, the richest things, are the ones that don't come easy," Juliette's words rang in my ears as I pictured her in all those moments, forever imprinted in my memory. "Shawn, are you even listening to me?" Said Juliette sharply, bringing me back to the present. "Falling in love with you was never part of the plan, OK?" I retorted defensively. "This whole thing started started because my ass was on the line. Self-preservation Jules, you have to understand that! I didn't have a choice. And then we sort of found a grove, and by the time you showed up, it was so much fun! We've put away over a hundred criminals, most of them murderers. I am good at what I do, and what I do is good. Isn't it?" I asked, feeling exhausted by this whole conversation. "Are you telling me this is a lie?" Jules retorted, the tears starting to fall freely down her face. The anger quickly being replaced by anguish. Taking a breath I chose my next words much more carefully than I had the first. "Please don't make me answer that," I said softly, letting the pain I was feeling wash over me. Hoping that a small part of her would forgive me. "I, I feel so stupid." Juliet said sounding defeated. "No, sweat heart this is all me." I said taking a step towards her to put my hand on hers. Trying desperately to preserve any chance I may have to save us from drowning in the web of lies I had concocted over the years. Trying to remind her that I was still here to console her when she was feeling hurt. Even if it was me doing the hurting this time. Juliette pulled away and in one fluid motion went for the forgotten wine glass resting by her on the table, and threw the contents on me. She then quickly got up and left the table, leaving me standing there alone. Looking up at the balcony, I made eye contact with Gus, who had panic and confusion on his face. All I could do in response was collapse in the now empty chair and bury my head in my arms, defeated. 'What have I done?' I thought, as the tears I didn't know were there began to fall silently down my cheeks.


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors note: I promise I will be veering off from the plot of the show! Please read and review! Thank you for reading!**

Chapter 2: Juliette

As soon as I'd thrown that wine, I knew I wasn't going to be able to stop myself from crying. Shawn didn't deserve to see me in that state after everything he'd just said. After letting me down like he'd just done. Getting out of the reception became my top priority, so I could nurse my wounds in private, away from him and everyone else at the wedding. Without waiting for another word from Shawn, I too the opportunity to get as far away from him as possible. Keeping my head down I tried to navigate my way through the small crowds of people assembled throughout the reception hall. Desperately trying to hide how upset I was, to keep away any prying questions that would undoubtedly come if anyone saw face. After what seemed like another lifetime I finally made my way through the exit to an awaiting cab, seemingly unnoticed. I was barley able to give the address of the house, before breaking into uncontrollable sobs. Thankfully the cabbie thought I was just an emotional drunk girl coming from a party, and didn't feel obligated to ask any questions. Once home, I quickly got out of my dress and got into the shower. As the hot water fell on me, I slowly lowered myself to the floor and let the anguish wash over me. As I sat crouched in the corner, the tears and water dripping down my face I couldn't help but think that Shawn would make some joke about this same scene from Fatal Attraction. I laughed to myself for a moment, thinking about how much I wanted to share that with him. Wishing he would come home in that instant so everything could go back to the way it was. With no heartache, no pain. 'No' I thought, scolding myself for wanting him here. 'He caused this. He lied to me. And what else has he lied about over the last two years? And over the last seven, there must be millions of lies. And he didn't think that it would matter to me? Knowing how important the truth was, after everything I'd gone through with Frank? No. I don't need another thirty years of disappointment. Another thirty years of feeling like I was the one doing something wrong. I deserved better than that.' With new resolve I slowly picked myself off of the shower floor and turned off the shower, just as it started to turn cold. Grabbing a towel, I wrapped myself up tightly in the soft cotton, and it felt comforting. Like a hug I desperately needed. Moving to the bedroom I found an old t-shirt and put it on, and used the towel to squeeze the last bit of water from my hair, before dropping it carelessly on the ground. I'd get it tomorrow, right now the only thing I wanted to do was crawl into bed and get some distance from this awful night. 'Tomorrow will be a better day,' I thought as I crawled beneath the warm covers, trying to ignore how strange it felt to have the whole bed to myself. "Tomorrow will be a better day" I whispered into the empty room. Turning out the light, I rolled onto my side, shutting my eyes for the sleep that wouldn't come.


	3. Chapter 3

**Writers Note: **Thank you for reading, I hope you are enjoying my story so far. So here is the start to it being more of an original story, and not like the show. Please read and review, I really appreciate the feed back. Enjoy! :D

Shawn:

I work up in the Psych office to my phone ringing. Slowly I opened my eyes and looked outside to see it was still dark. Pulling my head off the desk, I immediately felt a sharp pain in my neck. 'That was a horrible sleeping idea, why did I think this could work?' I thought rubbing my neck with one hand and gripping around the cluttered desk for my phone with the other. I moved aside a few drafts I'd been working on, a letter to Juliette explaining the whole thing, but none of them were good enough. With all the paper pushed aside, I spotted the lit screen. Then heard the beep letting me know there was a voice mail, and decided not to listen to it. Too much had already happened tonight. Whether it be Gus checking in, or the SBPD, or worse yet my dad wanting to have a drunken heart to heart I wasn't in the mood. Everyone could wait, just this once. With that I lazily moved myself the couch and laid down, letting the exhaustion of the day wash over me once again. 'Tomorrow I am going to find a way to fix everything with Jules. Tomorrow everything will be OK again.' I thought as sleep once again over came me.

When I awoke again the sun was beating down through the window, but it felt like only minutes had passed since my phone had rung. Looking at my watch, I wasn't surprised to see that it was only eight. It felt like days since my fight with Jules, not hours. Remembering that I'd missed a call, I groped around the floor for my phone, stunned to see I had twenty five missed calls instead of just one and several voice mails waiting for me. Starting at the first one started I began listen, and a sense of dread washed over me:

"_Shawn, Shawn you have to get down here. The chief just called and well..'"_there was a pause as Gus began the familiar sobbing_ "...she's missing." _beep

"_This is the Chief get down to the station now. I am not asking. We have a situation." _beep

"_It's Gus. Again. Where the heck are you? I've called you at least twenty times. I haven't had time to get away from the station and come to the Psych office, but I know you are there. Get down here." beep_

"_Shawn, it's Carlton." _beep

Without a second thought I was out the door and riding my motorcycle as fast as I could. When I got there I hopped off my bike and ran inside to see the whole station was talking in low hushed tones. A small group of officers were gathered by the chief's office in front of the projector. I spotted Gus and made my way quickly to the front of the briefing. The chief's eyes were ringed with dark circles and Carlton was still wearing his white tux from last night. "Alright" Vicke's voice rang out above the crowd, bringing a unilateral silence throughout the whole station "I don't think I have to tell you that this is our top priority. All low priority cases are suspended until further notice. For those of you on high priority cases, I want you to keep at it. I know it is tough but crime does not stop, even if we are missing one of our own. I want as many people on this as I can get, we are going to find detective O'Hara back if it is the last thing I do. Ah, Mr Spencer," she said turning her attention to me for the first time, "I am so glad you could finally join us. I hope we haven't taken you away from your other engagements." The words stung, but I knew it was just stress that was making her a little more pointed than usual. "All right then, now that everyone is here, I can go ahead and share what we know so far. Last night around one am Detective O'Hara was dropped off in front of her house by a cabbie. She entered her house and was there for approximately two hours when a witness saw a black sedan with no license plate park in the driveway. After that we did not have any additional information, that is until an hour ago when this showed up in front of the police station." Vicke clicked the projector on and a neatly written note appeared on the screen, reading:

**I have her, my friends, and she will die. But how, and where, and when, and why?**

I could feel the anger rise up in me instantly, how could this sicko take Juliette of all people?And why was I not there to protect her? I looked at the Chief, and I knew the anguish was written all over my face. I had to find her, and now, no matter how much danger there was or how many laws I had to break. "Listen" the Chiefs voice rang out over the now silent room "That this guy has taken one of our own, so we are putting all the man power we have to bring back O'Hara safely. I know that some of you may be more emotionally involved," she paused, and gave me a knowing look I had seen many times before, "but we cannot let emotions run this investigation. I caution these people to use extreme caution when involving themselves in this case. I have the department heads send your individual assignments to your e-mail. We do not have a lot to go on but I assure you I am personally gong to take point on this operation and we will be bringing in all outside help for assistance in this case. Lets get out there and find this wacko, and bring O'Hara back safely and as soon as possible." She finished, moving away from the projector. "Spencer , I want to see you. Now." Chief Vicke said sternly motioning me the short distance to her office. Slowly I moved away from Gus and followed her, not sure what I was going to do next. Or how if I was going to be able to drum up any psychic ability for this case. This was personal now, and all bets were off. Even if it meant going to prison myself and exposing my long kept secret, I was going to find Juliette.


End file.
